TCK

What is a TCK? A third culture kid is "an individual who having spent a significant part of the developmental years in a culture other than the parents' culture, develops a sense of relationship to all the cultures, while not having full ownership in any. Elements from each culture are incorporated into the life experience, but the sense of belonging is in relationship to others of similar experience."

So basically, as a result of cross cultural experiences growing up, TCKs end up with a unique third culture that is not quite their parents' culture but also not completely their host culture. As you can imagine, this results in blessings as well as challenges. In the end, there's no way to separate out what's "American" and what's "French" (or Kenyan, Burundian, etc.) - the different aspects of cultures are thoroughly mixed in the individual. This can result in an identity crisis (belonging "everywhere and nowhere") if kids aren't fully grounded in their identity in Christ and aren't encouraged in their own unique personality and culture.

Rachel and Maria (Cambodia TCKs) and I with deer bones found at MTI

TCKs (N Africa and Honduras) rock climbing in Colorado

TCKs generally enjoy amazing life experiences. They can start stories with, "When I was alligator hunting..." or "When I climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro..." They live a much bigger, much less ethnocentric worldview than their American peers. They may speak multiple languages. Their best friend may be the neighbor living in a mud hut or another TCK from somewhere else in the world. If they're also missionary kids, they may get the opportunity to be involved in ministry in unique ways like Anna P. and Anna F. helping hold babies in the nursery in Kenya.

One challenge they typically face is that of high mobility. Their families frequently cross the globe. The average length of time a missionary family stays in one place is 18 months. This can lead to pretty significant "unsettling" in kids' lives. And even if they don't move, those around them are constantly coming and going, too. Short term missions teams come and go. They connect with another missionary kid for a few months and then they're gone. If they don't learn to grieve these goodbyes, they can end up living a dis-engaged life as they grow up - not committing or deepening relationships with people or places to avoid the pain of goodbyes.

Saying goodbye to friends at MTI with Nadya (TCK headed to Russia)

Goodbye to Hannah and Rachel (moving to Cambodia)

Goodbye to my newest pediatric TCK patient 

So, why am I interested in TCKs? Why this blog post? Well, a couple reasons:

1) I'm aunt (and pediatrician) to lots of TCKs. Paradoxically, it's both sad and difficult to live far from biologic family but also such a joy and blessing to experience the unique "family" bonds that form on the mission field. I take my role of auntie to the missionary kids seriously. I've already packed some of the toys and craft supplies to bring to Burundi for the kids to play with at my house! And they emphasized at MTI the positive impact a non-parent adult can have on TCKs in encouraging them in their identity in Christ, involving them in ministry, and listening to them in their struggles.

2) I'm friends to adult TCKs.

Jason and John both grew up as missionary kids in Africa and are adult TCKs. Which means that more than half of our McCropder team is composed of TCKs.

3) I realized recently that I actually have a lot of TCK characteristics myself.

I definitely experienced high mobility growing up. I lived in seven cities (five states) before age 18 (as a business kid, not a missionary kid). And in retrospect, I didn't learn to say goodbye well. From ages 13-16 (a significant part of my developmental years), my family lived in a completely different culture on the Mexican border. I learned Spanish, developed cross cultural friendships, and participated in ministry in both Mexico and South Texas. At age 13, I did not adapt well - the chaos phase of transition was long and painful! But the transforming process of those three years was significant in improving my adaptability and cultural flexibility, widening my worldview, and heightening my interest in other cultures and places. So maybe I'm a TCK, too!

If you're interested in reading more, I recommend the book "Third Culture Kids: Growing Up Among Worlds" by David Pollock and Ruth Van Reken